Lev

I just finished doing a few sums on application of integration and contemplating whether or not to skip school tomorrow. Well, decided to be a good girl. Tough decision.

Do you realise that it's so easy for you to get use to someone being an integral part of your life. But when you lose that someone, it's so difficult to get use to not having him in your life. You start to think of all the happy times (of course there're sad ones too) and things that he used to say to, do with and for you. All these things suddenly seem great, something that actually kept you going when you're feeling tired and frustrated with work and family. Cause you know that at the end of the day, there's someone there for you to rely on and seek comfort from. Oh and then, you realise that you also have to get use to not doing some things that you do almost everyday. Sometimes, the days just simply feel imcomplete and you'll feel really lost.
And so, I'm beginning to learn how to hold my own trays (though it hasn't been really successful) cause promises don't hold anymore .

Then, everyone starts asking you if you're okay and you get this question at least twice a day? You know, even if you're really trying your best to get over it, you wouldn't because you're getting constant reminders of it. Somehow it just stays in your mind everyday, and it gets even worse when you actually get that question from a teacher. I ascertain you, you'll feel like killing yourself on the spot. So other than your really close friends who you're still willing to open up to, you'll get really accustomed to just saying yes I'm fine, so don't worry alright. Haha.

Okay, then you'll start to feel bad bothering your friends with all these problems and slowly close up and just keep everything to yourself. How great right.